Winter Cocoon

find hope in the darkest of days, and focus in the brightest   

Dalai Lama

8x10 watercolor

The glorious Cardinal swoops to my feeder, the bright red of his feathers flashing, against the brilliant snow. She's beautiful as well, with her golden body and magenta markings and I notice that they are always in close proximity to one another. When I see one I look for the other.

But he is arresting, no matter how often or in which season I see him and I am thrilled each time.

My mumma loved Cardinals and her sweaters and sweatshirts were adorned with them, particularly her Christmas attire, so of course, when I see them I think of her.

She is still so present for me as I ponder her loss.

I looked online for symbolic meanings attributed to these beautiful birds and found this.

The Cardinal Cycle of Twelve is symbolic of: Cycles, life, death & renewal

• Twelve hours make a day and twelve months make a year. Twelve is a vital life cycle and regardless of the time of year, the time of day or the time of life you are presently confronting, you are a part of the cycle. You are a vital element in the circle of life and regardless of where you are in that cycle you always have the opportunity for restoration, revitalization and renewal.

*Another notable quality is that cardinals are year round residents. As they do not migrate like most other birds, cardinals represent a twelve-month cycle. Twelve is considered a powerful cycle in nature as it represents the spectrum of the seasons and the full circle of life. Cardinals also lay eggs that hatch within twelve days. Due to their twelve-month residency and their twelve-day incubation, the number twelve is strongly associated with the cardinal. 

Winter Marsh

"Winter Glow" 

6x6 oil on board

I've been a bit reluctant to write about this but, this blog is about my real life, so I'll share. Little by little, I'm finding my painting mojo again. It's been a hard time and I am consumed with the chore of sorting and tossing and resolving the 'beloved flotsam and jetsam' of my dear Mama's and our family's life.

Report cards from grade school, every card/invite she ever received, newspapers containing momentous news events (Oy), bookshelves full of books and souvenirs. Precious family 'stuff' in the china cabinets. And photos, photos and more photos. 

I picked up some boxes and marked them with the names of my siblings and as I sort, I drop things into each box for them to enjoy along with things I think should be theirs. Because I insisted upon looking at every single piece of paper, they have left me to that and I don't mind except that the volume after 43 years in the same house is, um, voluminous. My dear husband is the God send to this whole task and is also on the receiving end of my prickly emotions :( Without his guidance (lists, lists, lists and advice and more advice)  I'd be lost. He is the left brain balance in my right brain world. 

So, I'm sad but, I'm grateful for my family and my dear friends near and far who continue to lift me up. Thank you all for your continued support.

About the painting. One thing I love about the winter is how the setting sun lights up the tops of the trees creating a beautiful complimentary color scheme. 

My Mama

Anna Marie Sheehan 6/11/27-9/15/13

Dear Friends,

There's no easy way to deliver this news but I lost my Mama on Sunday morning after a mid August surgery which although successful, was followed by one complication after another.

She was 86 years young and still living alone, driving, visiting with her friends on most days at her favorite haunt. Up until three years ago she was still driving to Naples, Florida by herself! 

I'm so grateful that she was herself until the end and did not have to face life dependent on others. I have been able to devote myself to her needs during this past month of her hospitalization and bring comfort to her and to myself.  

Two days ago I discovered a fabulous (months old) voice mail message from her and it made my heart sing. So glad I'm negligent in deleting those things. 

The services are today and tomorrow at Russell-Pica funeral home in Brockton, after which Don and I are taking a previously planned trip up to Bar Harbor, Maine.

The blogging community is a big part of my life and I needed to let you all know what has happened to cause my prolonged absence. 

Thank you for your support through the years. It means so much.

Mary